Transcribed by:
Watcher652

Union Maid:
260. 2004-10-31 (597 kb) 3:55

Well, it’s that time of the year again
When everyone gets in a costume
And dresses up like blood sucking ghouls, ghosts and goblins
Yeah, I get all those crazy kids at my door asking for something sweet
In exchange for trying to scare me, they ask for a Trick or Treat
The most that ever happens is that I get a good laugh
And throw some candy corn at them
Heck, somebody has to eat that sh*t

Well, before I knows it
I’m on the horn with my friends contemplating lost time
And wondering whether we should count down the 100 scariest movies of all time
Or go up to the spooky house and get ourselves a chill down our spine
Nothing seems to scare us much though these days
Not even Osama bin Laden

Well, I was preparing to go out for the evening
When I heard a knock at my door
It was a boy Trick or Treating
He was dressed up like the Terminator
I told him he had to come back later
And bring a hockey mask
I don’t donate nothing to the Republican Party
See, that was my joke
See, I’m a comedian for Halloween
Huh, the kid just shook his head
And said, without any, any touch of irony,
He said “I’ll be back!”

Well, my friends we bobbed for apples
Carved ourselves a pumpkin
We had a few costume contests
Needless to say, I didn’t win any of them
We tried our damnedest to think of something
Something scary that would freeze our brains
And bring out all the worst fears we ever had
And we thought that if each of us told a scary story
It would work, we’d find something
Well, we talked until we was bored to tears

Well, it wasn’t until I got home
Put on the cable news channel
And had a few pumpkin beers
That I heard it
The most bone chilling, hair raising sound of them all
A chant that started right from the boogeyman’s mouth
Would have made Edgar Allen Poe sound as bland as any one of his peers

The massive crowd, looking like Night of the Living Dead
Gets louder as that man appears
Yep, the scariest dreams I’ll ever have, I know it
Hearing those blood curdling screams
“Four more years!”
“Four more years!”

Happy Halloween